508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize