Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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