Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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