I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You just made me feel so damn special
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
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After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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