There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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