Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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