Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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