I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize