I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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