so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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