i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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