after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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