So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize