Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize