It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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