allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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