There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
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If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
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It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize