How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize