Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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