I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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