is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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