thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
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