you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched a dick in church today
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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