I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize