Me too!
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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