Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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