yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize