omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it hurts more in the daytime
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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