At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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