"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
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So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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