I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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