I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize