Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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