Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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