I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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