Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.

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  (443): Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her. http://tfl.nu/u8d4
  Replies (3) Good night (1463) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Lol welcome to greek life

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  (727): if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now. (1-727): Lol welcome to greek life http://tfl.nu/i7uo
  Replies (43) Good night (768) Bad night (4083)
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  (212): View more from New York

  You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.

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  (212): You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin. http://tfl.nu/5eus
  Replies (15) Good night (767) Bad night (4578) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  i should start naming my morning wood

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  great idea but wrong number

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  (910): i should start naming my morning wood (201): great idea but wrong number http://tfl.nu/1p5a
  Replies (24) Good night (8095) Bad night (954)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come

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  (574): i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come http://tfl.nu/d7fm
  Replies (9) Good night (5486) Bad night (591) Order T-Shirt
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"

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  (709): His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs" http://tfl.nu/qi7o
  Replies (27) Good night (4956) Bad night (1358) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?

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  (720): Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head? http://tfl.nu/r6cb
  Replies (20) Good night (8000) Bad night (1889) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups

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  (563): At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups http://tfl.nu/0hio
  Replies (4) Good night (1739) Bad night (912) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.

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  (316): I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock. http://tfl.nu/nmgr
  Replies (16) Good night (3644) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.

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  (940): You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata. http://tfl.nu/mqsn
  Replies (3) Good night (3155) Bad night (590) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.

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  (+44): There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside. http://tfl.nu/nyqa
  Replies (2) Good night (1716) Bad night (704)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all

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  (250): After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all http://tfl.nu/42sy
  Replies (23) Good night (1010) Bad night (2867) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.

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  (304): They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post. http://tfl.nu/qpv3
  Replies (4) Good night (1757) Bad night (1242) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.

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  (303): I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick. http://tfl.nu/7vfn
  Replies (3) Good night (448) Bad night (1427) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.

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  (850): I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs. http://tfl.nu/p0c7
  Replies (11) Good night (1798) Bad night (588)

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