Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
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his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
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I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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