please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
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Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
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Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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