did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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