Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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