So drunk its hurt
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize