ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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