I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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