Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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