I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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