Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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