I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize