Acid is not a monday night drug
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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