I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
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I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
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Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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