Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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